Where the Hell is Community?

I used to wonder about the emphasis that some preachers would put on “community” within a church. I went to my church, community was not stressed, and I was content as could be.

Until, of course, I developed issues. Spiritual issues, physical issues, addiction issues, sexual issues, and in the background of all these issues, I was hit with deep emotional issues. I was in pain. I was struggling. I was depressed. And I was alone.

The church that had become nothing more than a stage to share with a number of fellow puppets was of no help. To the contrary, my attempts to continue to look as wonderful and perfect as my fellow church-goers only made my depravity more obvious to myself. You never realize how much you’re bleeding until you try to wear white over the open wound.

Enter church. Smile, grimace. Shake hands. Say “hello.” Sit down, stand up, sing, bow head, pray, sing, exit. Repeat. Like a weekly rehearsal, I repeated the same thing with the same people, everyone as shallow and listless as the last, every Sunday more painful than the one before. Our version of community was the easy, comfortable kind, where everyone is friendly and amiable and jolly. Sincerity was far too dangerous. Our “community” was just a prop on our stage. We faked it. And it was hell.

When Bible scholars talk about hell, many of them emphasize loneliness. They say that the experience is one of absolute solitude - to be cut off completely from God and man. This absence of God is what makes it purely evil, what makes it torment beyond what our God-seeking souls can bear.

My personal depravity was compounded by the necessity to suffer through it alone. Community was not something that was available for those in need. The broken were not our specialty; save that for other places. We were there to worship and perform. So I stiffened up my upper lip, and I performed, becoming another part of the problem.

This self-defeating cycle is perpetuated by the ideas that pain is weakness, suffering is shameful, and openness is scorned as a terrifying discomfort. Real topics, real pain, real suffering, real humanity, real people, these are the very things that non-communal churches avoid at all costs. They are afraid to open up the floodgates, even though it is through that ocean of grace that healing comes. They seal themselves off from one another. And thus they become initiators of hell.

Walking into a church that has no community is like sailing the ocean in a boat with no floorboards. The structure is there to keep you afloat, but without the essence of a watertight ship, you will sink into the depths and eventually drown, your death an ironic and sick joke for all to see.

Community with other believers is a way that we experience God. His Spirit working among us is a way that allows us to break in each other’s arms and wash each other with the Word (are we not the body?). Something spiritually beautiful comes from the vulnerability of transparency: Love. 

Romans 12:4-5 For as in one body we have many members, and the members do not all have the same function, so we, though many, are one body in Christ, and individually members one of another.

One of the best functions of community is the puzzle-piece arrangement that our differences can compose. Alone we are weird-shaped bits; together we are whole.

1 Timothy 5:8 But if anyone does not provide for his relatives, and especially for members of his own household, he has denied the faith and is worse than an unbeliever.

We are brothers and sisters! A family bound together, apparently with the ties of love. The blood that has cleansed us has bound us together in the household of God. This is the true location of "God's House" - wherever we Christians have community with one another. Wherever love is encouraged and practiced. Wherever we are not just being His hands and feet, but also His eyes, ears, nose, and elbows. It takes a messy, diverse, and scrappy assembly of truly strange and beautiful people to make up the whole body. Let's make sure we aren't just letting in those pieces that are easy to look at. Let us not turn those away who are hard to bear with, either because we don't understand them or we don't want to open up ourselves to their vulnerability. 

If hell is the absence of God, and Community is a God-experience, without community, we are welcoming hell under our steeples with open arms.

Where the hell is our community? Let us break for all to see. Let us find healing, for ourselves, for others. Let us Love one another.

Let us try to follow Christ. 

Of Males and Men: A Discourse from Disgust

Society is a bastard. Society creates and then preys on our fears. Society makes messes of every situation. It sells and rapes women, it beats and starves children, and it clones men into monsters. Society is a beast of burden too weak to carry its own load; ugly, toothless, dragging a rusty cart behind it with a limp, so unintelligent that it won't stop crying out hideously, so repugnant that flies dare not land on its greasy fur. Society, however cannot take the fault. For we make up society. Our actions bend it, our movements move it. Our beliefs, attitudes, actions, civility, greed, selflessness, rage, generosity, humility, and pride: these confusing strains of emotion pool in the deepest areas of our culture, permeate every aspect of our lives, and from the murky wastes of our own fear and self-loathing rises our society: a society that has replaced manhood with ignorance.

When faced with the question of what makes a male a man, the church has not risen to meet the challenge of protecting this sacred title, but has rather fallen into society's ghastly trap. As a result, even in the church are found boys who think they are men, simply because they have a wife, a child, a car, a job, large muscles, an erection, etc. They think that because they are older, they are manlier.

But age does not define anyone. Neither does material possessions or physical attributes. If a woman's worth is not based on her body, neither should be a man's. While we push for "equality," we trample men who do not meet our egocentric ideals – completely worthless ideals when it comes to raising a family, or being a loving husband.

This problem is everywhere. Look around you. Do you know any man who feels completely comfortable shedding tears the same way a woman would, bearing his soul the same way a woman would? Probably not. This isn't because no such man exists, but rather because emotional men have been taught to hide in a shell of cool, toughness. Society sees them cry for someone they love, and it shames them for feeling, for loving. It sees them open up about their pain, and it gawks in mockery. But we mustn't blame society. We created this.

Stretched in opposite directions, while being fed the fictional idea that hurting, feeling pain, and expressing it is a sign of weakness (and "men" are supposed to be "strong"), men are still expected upon marriage to be able to communicate their misgivings to their wife. You'll hear a woman mockingly saying that her husband does not express how he feels, and she has to dig answers out of him. But she's the one who made him such a "strong" man.

The main problem with this ideology is that this pretense of strength is an inherent weakness. The inability to feel the hurt of others is detrimental to every relationship, and the emotional cowardice it takes to hide all pain is certainly not a sign of strength. Those who feel deeply and express their agony and are mocked for it – bearing this horror is true strength. Crying does not make one weak. Being tough doesn't make one a man.

This is not the only place where society has defecated upon the standard of manhood. There are fundamental attributes to manliness, and none of them are measured in rep-weights, turbo chargers, height, muscle tone, or beard-mass. While those things can exist on/with real men, they are easy to replicate, and are therefore often props that boys use to pretend to be men.

One fundamental attribute that begins the process of manhood is simple responsibility. The ability to admit to error or to look after what has been entrusted to us. The inability to be wrong, to admit defeat, to protect those in your care: this is a sign of boyhood. As males or aspiring men, however, we will be held accountable for the souls of our families. A bratty child with a beard is therefore not only unequipped for the job, but grossly underqualified.

The issue that arises in the church is one of "purity." In attempting to be wary lest they cause our men to "stumble," women have overstepped their boundaries of spiritual leadership – because so many males have pressed them to do so. It is not a woman's responsibility to keep a man from sinning. It is his. Eve may have tempted Adam, but it was still his choice to take a bite. As a man, it falls on our shoulders to choose not to sin, whether our sisters be adorned in a burka or a bikini. If we are really so strong as we claim, it is a burden we ought to handle with ease.

While the church endorses rape-apology through its heinous worship of physical appearance, instilling fear into the hearts of young women, teaching them that their brothers are all sexual monsters and cannot help but lust after them, every party involved is unequivocally damaged. Young women are taught to fear men and their sensuality, and young men are taught that they are sexual pigs and have no hope of fighting the battle against lust. This is, of course, absolute cow tripe. With the responsibility placed on the women, men are relinquishing their own responsibilities, giving up the position of spiritual leadership for the illustrious position of selfish, sexual, leadershit.

Unfortunately, with the loss of responsibility, men have exceedingly lowered expectations. We are told over and over that there is no point in fighting our lust because we are sexual beasts, and then people wonder why when we have given up. But we must be men. No matter the expectations of other humans, we still have a responsibility before God to be spiritual leaders. To be fighters. To be brave. But have we been?

While we claim to be men, we refuse to fight for the title of manhood. We allow a few worthless males with lustful dispositions and no stomach to fight it completely define our entire gender. We sit back on our haunches, boasting on our strength, while being too cowardly to defend our God-given role. These are muscular cowards, these are big boys. And these are certainly not men.

If taking responsibilities for your immature, sexual, egotistical minds is too hard to handle, put your diaper back on and stop calling yourself a man. Go roll around in BBQ sauce and be prepared to be devoured, because the only one who is truly a sexual pig is the one who doesn't have the testicular fortification to stand his ground when he is tempted; the one who is so much of a "man" that he is letting the women fight his battles. The one who is so afraid of falling, that he has given up completely.

There is much more to say on the issue of manhood, given that it seems to be almost completely killed off by our idolatrous and Pharisaical hands. The important message to take away from this, however, is that if you have the audacity to call yourself a man, live like one. Take responsibility for yourself. Fight for your spiritual role. Fight for the integrity of your gender. Fight for the protection of the women we are throwing under the bus. Fight for your title.

But first, Earn it.




Sources:
The Krusty Sage Talks Yoga Pants - Brant Hansen
Pursuing a Higher Purity - Stephanie Kehr

Do Not Profane His Temple - The Backwards Standard

Walk into church sometime with shredded shorts, a tank-top, and some flip-flops. Make sure they flip and flop a lot. Or, better yet. walk into church in your pajamas. In fact, why not go all out? Wear something "worldly." Sound like a safe plan?

No. Not really. Chances are, you'll be chewed out, scorned, gossiped about, and looked down upon. Why? I believe it's because Christian Antichrists have this really bad habit, and it has leaked down through the generations.

This habit makes me angry. In fact, it makes me want to grab a whip, and set myself upon the congregation, flailing and screaming in mighty, righteous anger. I might be exaggerating. But maybe not. You see, this habit is the false, perpetuated belief that a church building is "God's house." This is rubbish. Let's take a look at something many of us have hypocritically forsaken in our rush to be more righteous and pure: the Holy Bible.

Matthew 21:12 And Jesus entered the temple and drove out all who sold and bought in the temple, and he overturned the tables of the money-changers and the seats of those who sold pigeons. He said to them, "It is written, 'My house shall be called a house of prayer,' but you have made it a den of robbers."

This passage conveys to us the incredible reverence with which we are to treat God's temple. Perhaps we have used this passage to excuse the inexcusable. We sinners judge other sinners for their outward dress, perhaps inwardly telling ourselves that this building must be revered. This is God's house! It must be respected! Perhaps we truly believe this. Perhaps we have forgotten the scriptures altogether. It isn't a temple though; it's a church. If sinners' imperfections, crudeness, and impurity profaned the place, what right do we have to be there? If that were the case, the building would have to remain empty in order to remain unblemished by humanness and sin.

1 Corinthians 3:16 Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells within you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy him. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple.*

This is wherein the problem lies. We have confused the temple with the church building, and in so doing have created a mortifying courtroom, and we members have assigned ourselves to the jury. "Welcome to worship" means "Order in the court." This worship of the building is idolatry, and the judgement of others - hypocrisy. It is disdainful how quickly we want to resort back to rules and regulations, Pharisees that we are, but we are told over and over that while "Man looks at the outward appearance, God looks at the heart."

The clincher lies further, deeper down. In our excruciating regulation of ours, our brothers' and sisters' appearance, in our corpulent cesspool of judgement, in our attention to our own "modest" appearance, we are turning our bodies into capital. Judge, bid, and buy, these are our temples, and we insist on selling here. The more we try to sell ourselves as righteous through our clothing, the more we are turning the Father's house into a den of robbers. The more we are becoming objects of His holy wrath.

I believe that there is a problem when going to church is like going to court. I believe that there is problem when we are so caught up in not profaning a wooden and metal structure that we profane ours, our brothers' and sisters' bodies - Temples of God's Spirit. I believe that there is a problem when our little facades of our goodness are so important that they overshadow the souls of people who are around us, dying of depravity.

We are supposed to be the church. But instead we are too busy being blasphemous and hypocritical judges to love sinners who share in our evilness but lack the grace we have been given. Church was not built upon the Council of Pharisees. It was built on the death and resurrection of Christ, and the grace He gave us through that.

But where is that grace? "Look, you can share in Christ's love, but first, act and dress appropriately." This is today's "church." Court is now in session.




*Okay, so suicide is also out. Damn it!

The Christian Antichrist

Perhaps you are scratching your lice-ridden head at the title to this post. I certainly hope you are. Let me assure you, this type of creature does exist, but just because I've given it a name, doesn't mean it makes any more sense.

"Children, it is the last hour, and as you have heard that antichrist is coming, so now many antichrists have come. Therefore we know that it is the last hour. They went out from us, but they were not of us; for if they had been of us, they would have continued with us. But they went out, that it might become plain that they all are not of us. But you have been anointed by the Holy One, and you all have knowledge. I write to you, not because you do not know the truth, but because you know it, and because no lie is of the truth. Who is the liar but he who denies that Jesus is the Christ? This is the antichrist, he who denies the Father and the Son. No one who denies the Son has the Father. Whoever confesses the Son has the Father also." 1 John 2:18-23

An antichrist, to reiterate, is one who denies the Son. Someone who knows the Christ, but decides he or she does not need Him. This often seems to be due to extreme idol worship of a heinous degree, but it can also be due to mere spiritual ignorance of what and who exactly the Christ is. 

There are people who say that they believe in God, but they live as though they are atheists. They are so hyper-religious, that they have forgotten the Reason for their apparent righteousness. Often indoctrinated, these creatures will claim that they are Christians, and they will have all the right moves to convince those watching. Such attention is put into living "godly," however, that they forget why they were in the first place. Soon their righteousness is just another step in their climb up the staircase of self esteem. It becomes, in essence, a way to worship themselves.

Finding them is sometimes easy, but it is often difficult. Under that mask of "good," friendly, outgoing "Christianity" is a complete apathy towards Jesus Christ. Their part in the play becomes so important to them, they often forget it's just an act. Sometimes they even convince themselves that they are genuine. But you can often find them. It helps to ask yourself, "What would a Pharisee do in this situation?" Or WWAPD?

Sometimes Pharisees, for example, cry out loud phrases, announcing a communion with Christ as a means of social prestige. They are not praying to God, they are not deeply in love with their Savior. They are using Him to elevate themselves.

In the same manner, sometimes people on social media advertise their own righteousness, godliness, and their apparent devotion to God. Having been indoctrinated to believe that they are only worthy of a good spouse if they are godly, they have placed their value in their own moral standing. In trying to make themselves appear more righteous than they are, however, they are destroying any existence of righteousness within themselves. Since it is all for their own gain, social approval, pat on the back, acceptance, etc, they are merely testifying an unrelenting devotion to themselves.

This knowledge of God's existence, but denial of who He is, this is denying the Son. The act of using God as a staircase, a gift-giver, an ATM machine, or even Santa Clause, this is denying the Son. The distressing way that Jesus's great sacrifice is daily forgotten, or used as a personal ego boost, this is denying the Son. Using His cross as a decoration, but living without the grace that that symbol embodies, this is denying the Son. And it's all made worse because they call themselves "Christians."

This means they say that they follow Christ. Meanwhile their lives are a constant, repeated, ongoing denial of Who the Christ is. What He is. What He did. "They went out from us, but they were not of us." The daily motivation, if found in the self, or in others, this is not following Christ. If your entire life is about you, your future, your future spouse, your friend(s), your hobbies, your family - anything else but God, then you are not truly a Christian. You might be "saved." But you aren't following Christ. You are taking His grace, but refusing to give it in return. Using His death, but not giving your life. You are denying the Son. You are living as an antichrist.

And in calling yourself a Christian, while denying Christ, you take His name in vain. 

You have become a Christian Antichrist. 

Tact Has Died

Tact has died. We crucified it, much like we crucified our King. Unlike the King, it shall  not rise again.

This is good. The time has come for us to stop pretending there even is such a thing. The time has come for us to say our final farewell to this facade of politeness. While it lies decaying in its tomb, there are words that must be said. Words that will make many angry. Words that will even shock some, especially "Christians." Words like "fuck." Words like "satanism." Words like "Pharisee."

Words like "Antichrist."

Tact has died. Legalism has no more faulty armor protecting it from its own lies now except its self-induced arrogant pride. Pride that will lead to its own destruction.

There was a time for tact. There was a time for elegant speeches, logical reasoning, sound argument. "Let your reasonableness be known to man." So we have tried reasoning. The problem is that arrogance leaves no room for errors. Indoctrination ingrains its victims to never sway from the "absolute truths," arrogantly assuming that they have reached the highest level of enlightenment attainable. The creatures stand at the lofty feet of the Creator - the Truth - and audaciously claim to know Him. They set themselves up as demigods and don't even realize the arrogance of their claims.

But that isn't all. It isn't enough to dogmatically shove theology down one another's throats, to unwaveringly turn a blind eye to opposing viewpoints, and to close the mind to any alternatives - otherwise known as free thinking. Rather, anyone who does not do/think the same has committed a wretched, horrible sin. A sin of believing in a differing theology. "We should burn them at the stake right now."

But this is not the kind of sin that can be forgiven. His grace is not sufficient enough to cover the mistake of believing in a different doctrine. Forgiveness is unattainable, and those who have committed this sin are to be scorned, mocked, ridiculed, stoned, and avoided at all costs. Because Jesus avoided all sinners, so should we. Right?

Right, read the Bible.

Tact has died. It must. This kind of arrogance cannot be touched with soft words and reasonable discussion. The legalistic party will start off with the infallible mindset that they cannot be wrong, and of course, they have molested scripture to back up this self-gratifying and prideful opinion.

We cannot just argue. We've tried that. How can you argue with someone who cannot be wrong? We must blow something up. We must take them aback. We must make them catch their righteous breaths sharply, intaking enough air to puff up several blowfish. We must severely piss them off. We must use the fuck-word.

Tact has died. Why not enrage them? I mean, we're already at an advantage. What are they going to do, not let us participate in their man-made, regulated, church positions? Avoid us in Christ? Stone us like Stephen? It's not like they can even use curse words like we can.

It wouldn't be "Christian."

But idol worship is?

Fuck it.

Welcome to Hell

What is hell?

The definition is usually assumed, mainly because we grow up with all these fantasies and myths swirling around our little four-year-old minds. We hear it as a curse word, as people scream, "Go to hell!" and we simply assume it to be the worst place imaginable.

In theory.

As a reality, however, we have underestimated hell. By saying that hell will be bearable, that we can make the most of it if we end up there, we are completely desecrating our own curse words, by making them less meaningful.

Am I saying that we should not curse at one another? Hell, no! But while we utter words, we ought to understand what they mean.

So let me tell you a bit about hell.

Hell, definitively, means "separation." It does not mean death, but rather separation from life. In hell the person is separated from all things Good. The judged one is at the mercy of evil with complete separation from God, goodness, light, love, and joy.

Which sounds pretty bad, but there are those among us who may say it does not sound unbearable, for they have gone without God, have had little experiences with goodness, are depressed, miserable, and alone. These people have been in an earthly hell, but not an ultimate one. Let me try to explain the difference.

Earthly hell is common. Look around you: that girl with the scars up her wrists and thighs, that anorexic lady who starves herself to look "pretty," that boy with a black eye and bruises on his ribs, that child hiding under his bed from his drunken father's wrath. These are the earth's pangs, it's small-scale introductions to hell. But earth has melded attributes from heaven with attributes of hell, so no matter how bad it gets here for anyone, it cannot be true hell because it still has that undertone of heavenly themes to provide a relief and a balance.

Ultimate hell is much more severe. It is eternal, everlasting, and hopeless. There are no people who can provide comfort, and here is why: It is a place of pure evil, and no good is allowed to enter. Communion with others is "good." So...What is evil?

Evil is not an entity. It is not a "thing." Evil describes the lack of good. Evil is like Darkness: it is not a measurable, existing substance. It is the lack of another substance. Therefore darkness requires light to exist, and evil requires good. When you take away goodness, it becomes an immeasurable and supreme force, choking us with its impossible, non-existent weight. We would rather implode under the terrible force of evil than suffer one more day of Nothing.

Because Hell is Nothing. It is a very real nothing that we choose to encompass for the rest of our lives. It is a nothing that, upon becoming our everything, is so completely dissatisfying that it leaves us in incalculable agony and despair. We will burn with unquenchable fires that give off no light and no heat, save to scald us and cause us to blister. Our souls will become eternally tormented, and if we are given voices, we will scream ourselves mute before our eternal damnation has even quite begun.

And it never comes to an end.

Why talk about hell?

Because it is real. It is terrifying. And it awaits those who turn away from the Creator. And as Christians, it is time we stop hiding behind the skirts of our missionaries' wives, stop slinking into church services, religious eye-candy for each other, stacking up our piles of rules and regulations for what we have termed "godly living."

But there is an epidemic. There is a cult of people who call themselves Christians but instead of following Christ, they follow other Christians. They take a holy shit on the Bible, wiping with the Book of Opinions, Crack it open to the book of Ignorance and Folly, and begin penning their own rules in the margins. They condemn other denominations for committing "major" theological errors, implying that they alone know the truth. In this arrogant, megalomanic missions trip of judgement and hate, people are not just being hurt by the church. They are being forgotten.

I refuse to allow my church to become a missions field that sends people to hell. Therefore I will stand up to legalistic shit, evil arrogance, condemning brothers, hateful sisters, those who will refuse to love their fellow man because they fear for their own testimonies. These things must be abolished. But it must begin with a conversation about Hell. Because it's the place where the church is sending everyone who disagrees with its lofty knowledge. It's the place it's headed itself.

Let us dive head first into this Hades of self-righteousness. Let us paint the truth in its hideously gaudy colors. Let us disgust people. Let us enrage them.

Welcome to philalethia. Welcome to hell. I hope it has been a warm welcome.